A Straight Diversity Professional Comes Out in San Francisco

On November 30, 2007, In GLBT, By admin

I was walking down a San Francisco street recently on my way to a United Nations World Peace initiative celebration. I passed a lesbian couple holding hands and initially thought that I should give them a “smile of approval”. But, I caught myself and casually glanced away instead. I decided to do some critical thinking about my reaction to the lesbian couple.

I realized that I decided against giving the couple a smile because they didn’t need my approval. I further realized that my need to give them approval reflects my continuing efforts to embrace the GLBT community. What? I am an accomplished diversity expert. Accepting differences and promoting inclusion are my guiding principles. I live in one of the most liberally-minded cities in the United States. Could I really be lagging behind in full acceptance of the GLBT community? What I learned in critically thinking about this question was fascinating. I am an open advocate of GLBT rights and equal treatment in communities and organizations. This is consistent with my beliefs and values about equity. But, I must honestly acknowledge that I don’t have very many close gay or lesbian friends. I have wonderful professional colleagues and know individuals for whom I have had a long standing acquaintance with. Yet, my everyday friends are heterosexual—both the females and the males. I am less apologetic than instructive in “coming out” about this. Do I feel uncomfortable around gays and lesbians? Probably a lot less than most heterosexuals, but I noticed that I don’t go out of my way to immerse myself in the gay community or to increase my contact with lesbian acquaintances. I “proudly” attend functions my gay and lesbian acquaintances invite me to—As if it is a badge of honor. Yes, watching men smooch in public is still something I am working through, and I still gawk more than a truly inclusive person would when gay people hold hands. I can go on, but I think you get the point.Now what does this mean for me as a so-called diversity expert? Initially, I thought that my revelation indicates that I should not take on consulting assignments for which GLBT issues are the primary focus. I was then reminded of two principles that guide my work.  One is that diversity professionals are less effective individually than in teams of two or more. So, if my expertise is needed to support a GLBT diversity project, then I should do it. But, only to the degree that I partner with someone who is an accomplished professional in addressing GLBT issues. I must also solicit as much feedback as possible to make certain that I am doing a good job.

The second thing is that I was also reminded of my diversity values and beliefs. I may have a considerable amount to learn in becoming more inclusive of GLBTs, however championing their inclusion is nonnegotiable. Not giving same gender partners benefits in an organization is an example. It is not only wrong-headed, it undermines productivity and innovation. That’s why Fortune 500 companies and top universities support GLBT inclusion.

I remember a panel discussion at a higher education diversity conference that involved two professors—an African American male and a Jewish American lesbian. Their assignment was to have an open dialog before the large audience about their cultural differences. The African American male told his colleague that his religious beliefs make it difficult to accept her sexual orientation. His lesbian colleague stated that she understood because she appreciates her Jewish religion. She went on to say that her only request was for him to not put up barriers that would prevent her from living as freely as possible. She gave voting on anti-GLBT rights initiatives as an example. The male professor thought about it for a few seconds before stating that he agrees to honor her request.

Diversity experts must avoid colluding in anti-GLBT behavior because it is not good service to clients or the organizations they serve as a whole. I recognize the work I need to do as a diversity professional. It is a continuous learning profession. Accepting differences as requires more than simply being tolerant. It means doing the personal work necessary to push our limits when we awaken to shortcomings.

The couple I passed on the street did not need my approval to be two people in love. All they need from me is to do everything that I can to promote a just society.

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Billy Vaughn, PhD is a certified diversity professional and chief learning officer for Diversity Training University International, a free-standing corporate university located in San Francisco, California. He can be reached at 415-692-0121 or billy@dtui.com. Learn more about his work at http://www.dtui.com/mediakit.html or http://www.dtui.com/diversityblog.   

 

 
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How Duane “Dog” Chapman the Bounty Hunter Can Get His Image Back

On November 2, 2007, In Race Relations, By admin

There was Trent Lott, Don Imus, and now “Dog the Bounty Hunter”. We can have discussions about whether or not the growing list of white male social foibles is indicative of rampant racism, but that will not solve the problem.

The problem is that society no longer tolerates racist remarks, especially when people in the limelight are caught making them. Yet, we allow people to be as racist as they want in the privacy of their lives. Overhearing your neighbor using the N word in his or her backyard may be uncomfortable, but you can’t kick them out of the neighborhood for it. It is when the person’s livelihood depends on her or hsi public image that getting caught for making a derogatory ethnic slur can be devastating.

It is what happens to media figures like Lott, Imus, and Chapman that is the real problem. We take their coveted positions away—at least for a little while. They are asked to apologize whether they mean it or not. The apology tends to cause more problems. In addition, we have so called experts takes sides on the issue in the news. The public is left scratching its head until things go back to “normal” for a short period of time. But, there is something that we as a society can demand from elite figures that can support better race relations.

Imus, Chapman, and Lott think that they are not prejudice or bigoted. They can point to charitable causes, or in Chapman’s case, attending a church with a black minister as evidence of their openness and tolerance. I doubt that either or them will accept the fact that they are prejudice without a lot of soul searching, which is not demanded of them by the people holding their money strings. I have prejudice and so does every other American. We breathe the smog of prejudice and bigotry in everyday conversation, in the television shows we watch, in the newspaper, at the family’s Thanksgiving dinner, and deciding which church to attend. Refusing to believe that you are somehow able to defend yourself against this onslaught of prejudice and racism only makes you part of the problem.

The first step in getting his image back requires Chapman to admit that he harbors considerable prejudice and racial animosity towards black people. Apologizing to himself, his family, and his audience is the first step. The most important step is to get expert help in overcoming his prejudice and racism. This is the real work. He will not likely do it on his own. Only the risk of losing his livelihood in a big way will encourage him to commit to expert guidance.

The payoff can be tremendous as I have noticed in nearly a decade of coaching executives who have had their image and status suffer as a result of a similar social foible. Chapman will learn about the impact of his behavior on himself and others, the professional risks involved in continuing the behavior, and more socially acceptable ways to manage cultural and racial differences in the future. If Duane takes on the challenge wholeheartedly, he will not only get his livelihood back, but he will become an ambassador for racial harmony. We can certainly use more of these figures in the media.

billysunny

Billy Vaughn, PhD is a certified diversity professional and chief learning officer for Diversity Training University International, a free-standing corporate university located in San Francisco, California. He can be reached at 415-692-0121 or billy at dtui.com. Learn more about his work at http://www.dtui.com/mediakit.html or http://www.dtui.com/diversityblog.

 
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